I feel a rant coming on...

Thinking of posting this blog was the only thing that kept me from breaking the law by pulling out my cellphone and updating either my Facebook status or Tweet in a rage on my drive home today!  First off, my driving lessons for the day:

1. The far-right pedal is the gas pedal - use it to make your car go faster
2. The white signs with the big black numbers on them are speed limit signs - the goal is to actually drive at that speed (or slightly faster) on a beautiful sunny late-afternoon - take note, mister white sedan
3. I cannot go faster than the slower-moving vehicle ahead of me, so keep in mind that...
4. The bright-yellow solid double lines in the middle of the road mean don't pass - no matter how close to my trunk you attempt to drive - I'm talking to you, mister tan GMC truck
5. The multiple vehicles of various shapes and sizes traveling in that other lane also mean don't pass if you don't believe the lines - still talking to you, GMC

I thank my Father for teaching me to drive defensively from the start and perhaps this solid foundation of knowledge has fueled my road rage tendencies.  I didn't go from zero to full-on rage in an instant (my scale goes 0-10 before hitting rant-requiring rage status), but several instances of idiocy got me going and once I pass the point of no return, it's a rant or nothing at all to get me back to zero.  I was pissed, so therefore, I rant.

It all started while I was driving home from work, minding my own business, jamming down to some of my favorite iTunes from my iTouch when a car pulled out in front of me in a 55mph zone (Rt. 15N at Rt. 256 for those who are interested).  This car did not cut me off and had the driver actually engaged his accelerator we would not have had a problem, but he did no such thing, in fact topped out at a mere 40mph before merging onto 390N.  Had this incident been it, I would have been okay - this minor irritation got me only up to a 2.5.

The rage began to bubble on Rts. 5 & 20W while driving through Avon with my friend mister GMC behind me not enjoying the fact that I will actually drive the speed limit of 30mph in Avon because I know exactly where my friends the police hang out...right before the speed limit changes to 55mph.  So, I waved at the cop parked waiting in his speed trap and got out of Avon, where I would usually get up to speed right around where 20W splits off, but someone had other ideas.   All the way to Rt. 36S in Caledonia, I bubbled and simmered my way to a full boil while I was behind a vehicle that did not know how to drive the speed limit on a nice bright sunny day - this would be the white sedan. 

I could not pass him - see Jenn's rules #4 and #5 - yet the GMC felt that because he was bigger that he could push me past.  Thankfully he didn't actully push my car - that would have really pissed me off - he just decided to try to drive while inside my trunk, try swirving behind me to see around me to pass before darting quickly back into his lane - across those sneaky little yellow double lines - to avoid getting nailed by oncoming traffic. 

So, the white car and I get separated at the monument before it left me for good by heading south on 36.  We were gladly separated by a fun guy on a crotch-rocket wearing what appeared to be low-riding jean shorts, high-riding Star Trek boxers beneath and he was rocking a tribal-inspired tramp stamp.  His appearance provided some much-needed and appreciated comic relief and calmed me a bit as I drove through Caledonia with the GMC still on my ass completely pissing me off until the 55mph sign when I left Mr. GMC right where he belonged - in my exhaust!!

To sum up:  if you drive with a brain and drive the speed-limit and stay out of my trunk, we'll be fine sharing the road!!  Thank you for allowing me to rant...I feel much better now!